Monday, October 31, 2011
Thoughts on Marriage
So the big news that came out today is that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have filed for divorce. I am sure this is a shock to all who cared to follow their relationship. Can't say I care one way or another, but with the media that I generally consume (mostly sports radio and major news sources such as cnn.com, Star Tribune, etc.) it is impossible me not to hear about this.
Two things stand out to me in this marriage. The first is that it took all of 72 days to get from the wedding to this point where they are filing for divorce. The second is that the couple (or at least Kardashian) earned $17.9 million for the wedding. $17.9 million! This was for selling the rights to photos and everything else that they used. Not hard to jump to the conclusion that this was all a big publicity scam from the beginning.
On that last front I guess I don't really care. They are both a couple of media whores and if they want to capitalize on their popularity and make some money and people want to consume all of it through watch TV shows and buying magazines then more power to everyone. I think its all crazy, but I also watched well over 100 baseball games this year so I'm not one to critique how people spend their time and money.
What bothers me about this whole situation is what it says about marriage Believe it or not, there are people who tend to take this institution pretty seriously, myself included. Getting married myself has opened my eyes even more. I had also thought of marriage seriously, and now that I am married, I am glad that I did. It was not something that I entered into lightly, and I look forward to being married to Krista as long as we both live. I have no notions that it is going to be sunshine and lollipops the rest of my life, but it is going to be a good life, and I look forward to the ups and downs and challenges and great times and everything that comes with marriage.
My thoughts on marriage have been furthered sharpened as I have had the honor to officiate three different weddings so far, one for my cousin and two for good friends of mine. It is such a joy to be such a significant part of their wedding and a blessing for me to be able to do the ceremony. I hope that they have been happy with the brief service that I provided.
In short, I think that marriage is a big deal, and to see it so shamelessly exploited by money hungry publicity seekers saddens me a little. Marriage may not be for everyone, but is something that I highly recommend. It has proven to have positive impacts on health, on finances and so many other positive factors.
All of this which brings me to my final thoughts, on gay marriage and the fight that is coming up in Minnesota for the next election. My first thought is that it upsets me that as a state we even need to deal with this. Obviously we have much bigger issues to deal with (such as a massive deficit), is it really necessary to do something that is so divisive?
The second part goes back to the Kardashian/Humphries nonsense. Is it really an argument that you want to make to not include people in the institution of marriage that want to be a part of it while not being able to do anything with those who treat it so flippantly? As I have said I am all for strengthening marriage, but that is done by being serious about it, not denying the right to those who are committed to it and want to enter it. That seems to me that it would strengthen the institution.
There are many reasons I reject the marriage amendment in Minnesota (that is, I reject the need to define it solely as a man-woman right), but it was written much better in the op-ed by Minnesota businessman (and Republican) Wheelock Whitney in the Star Tribune.
In short, he rejects the amendment for the following reasons:
1. He is a Minnesotan - The state has a legacy of supporting worthy causes. It would be a great credit to our state to be the first to reject such an amendment.
2. He is a Republican - Personal morals are taught in families and houses of worship, but a free and open society must allow for others to live their lives as their personal consciences dictate.
3. He is a businessman - To attract the best talent that needs to include not only homosexuals but those who celebrate a diversity of life.
4. He is married - He knows the value of marriage and believes it should be open to all.
5. He is a father and grandfather - His son and grandson are gay. He would like to see them have equal rights.
I could not say it any better than Mr. Whitney and endorse this op-ed completely. If only his fellow Republicans in the Legislature felt like him. Of course, there is the notable expection of John Kriesel, in probably my favorite speech of all time.
The final thing for me is the theological perspective. As a Seminary graduate and future pastor I do need to consider that. Someone once asked me what would Jesus say about this issue. Here is the best response I could come up with:
"A fair question and one that I have thought quite a bit about and the fact is I just don't know. Jesus doesn't even hint at an answer on this issue in Scripture and I don't want to put words in His mouth. When I am uncertain I tend to error on the side of compassion and grace. For me this is also an issue of civil rights and human decency. Being married myself has now given me a new perspective about just how wrong it is to deny someone the right to marry the person that they love."
I still stand by this.
